A Beautiful Disaster 💔

Good morning Tarlac!

This felt like my first solo trip because I conquered some unbelievable things that my family and friends...even I, myself never thought I could do until I was there standing in the passenger lane facing reality all alone. I thought of my family who was my company for the last couple of travels I had and by then it felt like I missed them already!

It was my birthday. And I didn't expect I could get too emotional by what my mother did when I got home from my 11-7 shift. She already left from work and she got me this very special gift my eyes couldn't control its tears--a perfume in a purple striped box with a note saying, "To my daughter Cyrel, happy bday! May your dreams come true and be healthy always.. I'll be here always to wash your uniforms, if you're on duty. -Mama"

I couldn't sleep properly before my flight because I felt a little guilty leaving them behind this plan. I just did it (booking the trip and joining a tour) because I was too desperate to leave my life that made me too exhausted in work, and too frustrated to start my dreams. When I read my mom's, I asked myself, "But what if I quit working...what if I failed to live their dreams for me, would they still support me?" My tears were flooding. 

I dropped by the church nearby, checked in the airport, and my flight was delayed. Not so unusual but my eye bags were puffy for the rest of the day.

When I arrived in Manila, my mind wondered what am I doing here. Now what? I reached my phone to ask my friend and mom if I can make it to the bus terminal going to Tarlac before the day ends. We were all blank and I felt fucked up by fear. I was even afraid to talk to anyone around because they might just fool me. It was around 9 pm, so I just did what I should do even if I already regret to prepare a map or a mobile internet access then drove to the terminal and, stick to the plan.

The dread didn't end there. I came to Victory Liner Bus station in Pasay and the place was full of passengers waiting. My route for Baguio was already out and the next trip would be 5 am the next day. The other buses I think, aren't going to drop by Tarlac anyway. Then my life was a mess, I said to myself. I wanted to cry again but I know it won't help really. I tried to contact my brother who was in Makati by that time, hoping to pick me up and go home. But no, this wasn't what I wanted to happen and yes, I have to be patient and just stay positive. God will help me get through. I finally tried to talk to others for info and my only chance was to keep waiting for "lucky seats" as there would be possible cancellations of other booked passengers. And I did! After waiting for almost an hour I got this chance just when I was between giving up or staying confident to fight for more. There's already too much frustrations in my life which is up to me if I'll let it all add up. I guess I'll also be the weakest soul ever if I missed this and I won't be traveling ever again.

At the bus I was seated at the front seat (my preferred seat for the view...so lucky!) and met Sir Alex who was bound to Baguio. I was quite hesitant to open up at first but I set my mind that I should be a little friendlier and think that not all humans there are bad. There are also angels everywhere. We have talked about our hometowns and the presidential candidates where Mayor Duterte in my own city is his bet. I finally took a nap after awhile, and by 3 am (three hours of travel) I arrived in Capas junction and waited in McDonalds for late dinner/early breakfast.

There were many trekkers I assumed, in their leggings and hiking shoes, eating there already in groups. I was the only one in solo so I helped myself at one of the tables with my bag and my food tray. I observed the people hoping to spot someone nice and befriend him/her, but they were all loud and excited. I finished my food too long, arranged my take-out lunch in my pack and headed out. I took a tricycle across McDo to Sta. Juliana Tourism office for Php300 because I was a solo. It's a long ride though, and I forgot that it's 4 am I didn't expect the very dark and eerie road we're taking! I was alone with a strange driver, praying and diverting my scary mind the whole time.

Then I arrived at the office safely. Thank God! A mass of people filing their registration forms for the tour made me a little annoyed (with their pricey gears and gadgets exposed, shape and make up are their concerns...you aren't here for commercial exposure). I know I shouldn't care because it's the "time of their life" as well, and I'm not that type who do care but I can't help it since I am alone. You know what it can do. lol

I waited until cut off to meet the group where I will be joined. They were the last group who came. The staff called me and there was Ma'am Jacky, from Tipid Lakbay Tours, with her family/relatives & friend. 

It's a beautiful morning in Tarlac and my awaited adventure had begun at last!

Take me home dusty road♫♪

4x4 adventure

Lahar formations

Tourists

Registration event outside the Tourism office prior to Day tour

Picture with the Aeta kids

Hot trails

My signature pose☺

Notice the tissues in my backpack. I had rhinitis by the way, the entire trip! My eyes were way too tired, I also felt febrile going back to the airport...maybe because I didn't get enough rest and sleep, and I recently cried with mom's surprise gift. I updated her after the tour, of course, since the signal there was very poor.

On my way back at the Tourism office, I prepared myself to face the road alone again. I immediately took a shower and dressed up my fresh clothes. I haven't bid goodbye to my group because I was both too shy and too weak like it doesn't matter. It felt awkward being with them but somehow I was thankful I wasn't with the anxious commercial model hikers.

Moreover, I was grateful I found very nice local guys they offered me a ride with their private sidecar (one that carries a pile of sodas or maybe a pig) until I can ride a jeepney to Capas junction for a very much cheaper rate. That's Php30 instead of Php300 via tricycle! I told them I was alone and from Davao, they were amazed...I think that's why they gave me a free ride.

At the bus to Pasay I confessed that I really fell asleep. I got more tired waiting for a bus in Capas (1 hour) I didn't care about my seatmate when I got a ride. Of course I prayed I'd be with a kind one who won't let anything happen to me. When I woke up between the trip, the bus conductor smiled at me like he understood my state and just said I might have slept well. I smiled back and nod.

I reached Pasay City after 9 pm and called a taxi to Terminal 3 airport. The driver even stated to pay him Php200. Such people! I won't let him take advantage of my solo adventure so I refused and said he had to use the meter. Upon reaching the airport, the taxi meter reflected just around Php70 bill but I paid him Php100 and a thank you (he might just really need it). I said it like an angry woman but still in trying to be nice tone.

Eventually, I was in the airport for my 3:45 am flight back to Davao. I looked for a spot to take another nap and set the alarm before I'll be left behind. I didn't feel any hunger...all I really wanted was to sleep.

My nape was aching from my position and my feet was freezing when I woke up. I checked in and changed my shorts to leggings, and grabbed a hot coffee to ease my body. I also ordered burritos since I haven't eaten dinner yet. Still, my eyes long for more sleep. One good thing, my flight was on time and I was so excited to go home! I took out my malong to keep me warm and my rhinitis calmed down, then I woke with a beautiful sunrise view outside the aircraft window.

Home at last!!!

I learned so much about this "wild" trip I had (like patience and faith), and I thank God for everything even if I battle with my dreams and my life right now. It's good enough to take some time alone and let experience teach me to realize what matters most and what I'd really want in life. I'm still not sure what's going to happen next (still don't know where to go and afraid I might fail along the way) but the journey would be more meaningful if I try to slow down and keep the faith, and colorful if I just appreciate what's there.

Thank you Lord! Welcome age 28!☺☻